BREAKING NEWS... [Jonah Goldberg]

"Al Jazeera -- Until now, most observers have suspected that the long drama around Yassir Arafat's death has centered around confusion about how to handle the transfer of power in an already divided Palestinian community. But sources close to the scene confirm that there is another concern. Apparently, even the Great and All-Powerful Allah has been unable to recruit even a fraction of Chairman Arafat's promised 72 virigins. Apparently word has come from on-high to keep Mr. Arafat on a respirator for as long as possible while every measure is taken to find willing virgins for the symbol of Palestinian nationalism.
Posted at 10:40 AM"